The key to understanding my Dad is humming The Twilight Zone theme while you watch him.
 
 
 
The lord-high magistrate and executioner, ultimate arbiter and dispenser of justice, inflicter of guilt and most supreme master of the remote.
 
The smallest. Trapped somewhere between toddler and hamster.
 
 
 
Don't be fooled by the picture. He really is that stupid.
 
He's the only cool one in the family, so of course they sent him to military school.
 

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