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Creator Bios
Actor Bios
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The Simpsons FamilyGuest StarsThe SchoolTownspeople
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Chief Wiggum

 

Chief Wiggum

Clancy Wiggum is the chief of the Springfield Police Department, the long, pudgy arm of the law. After battling acne and asthma during his childhood and adolescence, Chief Wiggum grew (and grew and grew) into the imposing man that he is today. His two greatest successes as a crime fighter were solving the attempted murder of C. Montgomery Burns by Maggie Simpson (a dream led Wiggum to the main clue), and the capture and arrest of Sideshow Bob after he kidnapped the Simpson family and crashed their houseboat. Wiggum's greatest success as a man is his son Ralph Wiggum, a special little boy who plays with special little friends, none of whom are visible to anyone else. Other than that, Wiggum considers it a success if he can even get out of bed in the morning. If that doesn't tire him out too much, he might even fight some crime.

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This is not a library! Hee, hee. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! Come back, big diaper! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog...alright, Sears Catalog Gee, I dunno Way to go, Homer. Bee stings cause me to, uh, die. Release the hounds. Uh, wallet inspector. Who shot who in the what now? Argh! Silence!  You're talking too loud! What about the children! Hi-dilly-ho! This is not a library! We're gonna need pretzels. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! D'oh! My special little guy. What about the children! Ow, my freakin' ears! Happy God! Happy God! Hi-dilly-ho! Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. We're gonna need pretzels. D'oh! My special little guy. I'm going to my room. suck, suck... Ay Carumba! roof, roof... cough... MacGyver! I do. My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety' cause the Kaiser had stolen our word  'twenty', I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. She's faking it. I 'ate yer dog. Man, my pants are chafing. Huh, huh. Haw, haw! Hey Simpson, tell your mother her cookies suck! Hey, hey! Excelsior! Everything's coming up Milhouse! Fatty, fat-fat-fat! I bent my wookie.