I don't know what happens to guys when they get older and start dating girls, but it's not going to happen to me. Francis just did the stupidest thing he's ever done. He snuck out of Marlin Academy, hitchhiked here from Alabama, and braved Mom's wrath just to be with his girlfriend, Beebee--you know, the one who shoplifts and still can't remember my name.

I found Francis hiding in the creek behind the house. He was covered in mud and god, did he smell. He wanted me to help him, which was kind of cool because he trusted me. He had me carry a letter to Beebee (which I had to explain to her). Keeping his secret turned out to be a real pain. I was starving because I gave him all of my food, and it was hard to keep Mom and Dad off the scent. Finally, I broke. Mom was so worried, and then she gave me that look. I squealed before I even knew what I was saying. I feel really bad that I betrayed Francis, but I still don't know what the big deal with Beebee was. At least I had the presence of mind to give Francis a head start.