Okay, so Mom and Dad went away for the weekend, and my brother Francis came home from military school to watch us. He did a great job, too! Look at all the things we learned with him this weekend.

1) You can't trust anyone whose best friend is named "Circus."

2) No matter how hard he pulls, a six-year-old can't actually remove a human nose.

3) A spinning bicycle tire can't be stopped with your teeth.

4) You should practice with something else before trying to juggle kitchen knives.

5) In a pinch, you can treat a head wound with frozen chicken.

6) Emergency rooms don't have lay-away plans.

7) If you drive a car backwards, the mileage won't show up on the odometer.

8) Honesty is the best policy. (Actually, nothing from this weekend proves that, but I thought I should throw that in.)