Francis would always wince when the subject came up, and Reese would get very quiet. But I was sick of running back and forth playing street hockey, while everyone else was on blades. I finally asked Dad to teach me. I don't think anything could have prepared me for Dad: Disco Roller Boogie Champion. He's amazing, but there's an awful lot of...butt wiggling. I didn't know whether to be impressed or horrified.

He bought me these awesome roller blades, but wouldn't let me have them until I'd completed the training. The lessons were a real drag. At first, he wouldn't let me use any skates at all, and then I had to wear plastic toddler skates. I couldn't take it anymore, and tried to steal my skates to go out and play hockey with Reese.