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Episode: 209
Original Air Date: 11/19/00
I should know by now that when my parents say "vacation" they really mean "disaster." We were going to spend two days at this great resort on an Indian reservation. All Mom wanted to do was relax and Dad couldn't wait to try out his latest gambling techniques. Reese and I were totally ready to hang out at the pool.
 Then we found out that you can't go to the pool without an adult, so we got stuck in the stupid run-down arcade. It didn't take long for Dad to lose all his money. Then when I told him about basic blackjack "strategy," he decided it was time for some father-son bonding. Next thing I know, we are in the manager's office and Dad is handing over the three grand we won. Is it my fault I have a natural card-counting ability? To make things worse, Dad got banned from the casino and had to figure out a way to keep the whole thing from Mom.
So the next day, he volunteered to take us on a hike to some stupid ghost town, but Dewey got freaked out by the idea of ghosts and stayed behind. Of course, we got lost in the middle of the desert with no food or water. We climbed over a fence because we thought it might lead us somewhere, but when we saw a real cougar blow up in front of us, we started to get really worried. Dad, Reese and I went into a little house for help, but then I noticed that the people sitting at the table were stiff AND had targets on their chests. We were in the middle of an Army artillery range and had to run for our lives while being shot at with live ammo!
The Army finally rescued us and we all ended up in the commander's office getting yelled at for the second time in the same vacation. Dad tried to call the hotel to get Mom to pick us up, but Dewey hung up on him so we had to walk. Next time Mom says we can't afford to go on vacation, I will definitely be okay with it.
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