Episode: 210

Original Air Date: 11/29/00

A couple of kids kept getting out of stuff by going to the dentist. When one kid went to the dentist three times in one week, I asked Lloyd about it. He told me that "dentist" was the code for "therapist." So during our Harvest Dance rehearsal, I faked an outburst. You know, "Oh, I can't do anything right. I suck." Blah, blah, blah. It totally worked because I got sent to the school therapist, Miss Gilbert. I figure with the family I have, it's only a matter of time before I really need therapy anyway, so why not start early.

Miss Gilbert was really nice and I got to play video games. The tricky part was making her think I needed help without having her put me on medication. Pretty soon I was spending more time researching childhood behavioral theories than doing actual homework. Then I found out that the Krelboynes were going on an awesome field trip to the Museum of Torture and that I'd have to miss it because of my "dentist" appointment. I had to have a real breakthrough, fast.

Luckily, I knew enough to fake a passive, "healthy" dream about a purple butterfly, which convinced Miss Gilbert I was better. Then stupid Reese had to show up and ruin everything. He was trying to get in on my therapy scam, but had no clue what he was doing. Because of him, Miss Gilbert came to our house! She made me confront Mom with my "anger issues." Mom knew what Reese and I were up to, but played along just to torture us more. The weird thing is I think I did have a real breakthrough. I realized that Mom and Dad put a lot of pressure on me with school and stuff. When I started talking about it, I couldn't shut up. Mom cried. I cried. Even Reese cried. And we all felt a lot better. I guess therapy's not so bad after all.