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Episode: 212
Original Air Date: 1/14/01
Starting my week debating boxers versus briefs with my mom should’ve been a sign of other horribly humiliating things to come. There was this new girl in the Krelboyne class -- Cynthia. She was kinda weird, but what Krelboyne isn’t? I mean, she made up this bizarre story about her family and had a strange laugh. Plus, her hair was always a mess and she burped a lot. I really wasn’t sure what to make of her.
One day I stayed late at school to use the computer and she was waiting for me outside. I tried to walk away, but she kept following me. She wound up chasing me all the way home. Like, really running after me! Of course, my mom invited her to stay for dinner. All night, stupid Reese kept calling her my girlfriend; I wanted to kill him. The next day, she sat by me at lunch and announced that we were going to be lab partners. When did I agree to that? Reese showed up to mock us and Cynthia did this secret Israeli army move that had Reese pinned in seconds flat. It was so great! I started thinking that maybe she wasn’t that bad. She was kinda funny and interesting.
Anyway, she started acting weird again, but told me she thought I was cute. I was totally confused. Did I like her or did she freak me out? I called Francis for advice, but he just kept warning me to keep Mom out of it. Whatever that meant, it wasn’t very helpful. When I told Cynthia I didn’t want to be lab partners, she seemed okay with it. A little too okay. The next day, she ate lunch with some other kid, which was fine. Except the only way to explain why I threw a brick through her window is because I got jealous or something. I know, totally stupid. Mom wasn’t furious, but she had to go and tell Cynthia’s dad that I had a crush on Cynthia. Being put on restriction would’ve been better than that humiliation. But then, Cynthia told me she liked me back and so, well, I tried to kiss her. (You know, after our parents left.)
Of course, instead of actually kissing her, I started acting like a complete idiot. It’s like I couldn’t shut up about my mom and Francis and Cynthia’s bra and ugh! She finally used a new army move on me and left me on the floor moaning in pain. I think I might really like this girl after all.
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