"New Neighbors"

Episode: 219

Original Air Date: 1/21/01

I used to think the house next door was haunted and that's why we got new neighbors so often. This past week made me think that maybe it was us.

Dad got really excited when he noticed the moving van next door, especially when he saw the cool stuff they were unloading. Mom said it was clean slate, a chance for us to make friends for a change. But we had to act fast, before the other neighbors got to them first. We wound up at a barbecue/pool party, which was going okay for a while. They had two kids. Josh was my age and Emily was younger than Dewey. Josh seemed okay, but then he told my dad that I spit on his hamburger. Why would he lie? I didn't even know him. Then, Emily attacked Reese and started biting him. She was out of control. When their mom didn't do anything about it, our mom got mad. And well, you know how that goes. The moms got into a huge fight and that was the end of the "clean slate."

The next day, I ran into Josh and he seemed to be acting normal. Then this cute girl from school walked by and he totally humiliated me in front of her. Later, he spread a rumor around school that I had been born with both girl and boy sex organs and was raised as a girl for five years. What a jerk!

Mom declared the new neighbors the worst ones we'd ever had. Dewey was even scared of their lawn gnomes. Even though Dad and the other dad were becoming friends, things kept getting worse for the rest of us.

Reese was being stalked by Emily, and she's only 4! Then the police showed up and accused me of being a Peeping Tom. Stupid Josh and more of his lies. Reese finally came up with a plan for revenge. We stole a bunch of junk and were going to plant it on Josh. I know it sounds stupid, but I was desperate. We climbed over the fence to plant the evidence and saw Josh's mom in the hot tub with their gardener and they weren't discussing lawn care. She saw us and started screaming, which attracted the other neighbors' attention. Everyone saw, it was great. She knew she'd been caught and the neighbors moved that week!

I feel a little sorry for Dad, because he'd finally made a friend. But with the amount of new neighbors we get, I'm sure he'll be fine.

 
 
   
   

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